


Have You Ever Had A Religious Experience?

by Anonymous_Bat



Category: Angels & Demons (2009), Da Vinci Code Series - Dan Brown
Genre: AU, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, The bad guy isn't the bad guy in this, There might be a companion piece but I aint writing it, it gets gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 17:05:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11741418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_Bat/pseuds/Anonymous_Bat
Summary: A Re-write of the Last Chapter of the book if the Illuminati were real and had infiltrated the Swiss Guard.





	Have You Ever Had A Religious Experience?

Robert Langdon woke with a start, an incessant pounding in his head. It was dark. Robert laid still for a while. The only thing he was able to register at first was the strange softness surrounding him and how he couldn’t figure out where he was. The pillows underneath him gave into his weight and enveloped his body in warmth, the blanket doing the same. The air was moving slightly and smelled of some spice he couldn’t recognize. He blinked his eyes, trying to adjust to the darkness and could make out glass doors that opened onto a intricate balcony. That was where the soft breeze was coming from. Moonlight trickled into the room behind clouds as he tried to figure out how he got here and where exactly he was. He blinked and was thrown back into his head.  
************  
A pyre of fire belted out around the other man’s body… He tackled the man to the ground, trying to snuff out the fire… soft cries of “No, please let me die”... the fire burning and his raw throat still yelling for help… The sound of an ambulance team… the feel of the mask and too many questions he’d forgotten the answers to… a soft hand guiding him from the hospital… the car… her smile and a voice whispering lightly in his ear… The door closing behind her… blackness.  
In the darkness he could make out that he was in a one bedroom room and complete utter silence. The Camerlengo’s and his exchange before he went and tried to burn himself alive was still echoing in Robert’s ears.  
“It’s my fault the died”  
“You tried your best!”  
“They were in the police force! I should’ve been able to read the signs!”  
“I’ve been studying symbology for years and it took me forever to figure out how far the Illuminati had infiltrated. You had to have been looking for the signs in the first place to even be able to tell.” The Camerlengo’s voice quieted to almost a whisper  
“4 men died tonight while they were under my watch. There is no excuse.” Before he rushed out the door and down the hall  
*************  
Robert shook himself from the memory. He turned his head to the side, the pillow next to him had Hotel Bernini embroidered on the front in bold, capital letters. He smiled a bit at that. He’d expect that Vittoria would choose a good hotel, the one overlooking Bernini’s Triton Fountain… Where Robert had lost the fourth of the preferati. He closed his eyes against the memory, willing it to the back of his mind, searching for anything to replace it. He sat up with a start, instantly regretting it. His body still ached, but his mind was racing against the clock once more. He moved out of the warmth of his soft cocoon and felt the cool wood floors touch his feet. Normally he would’ve stopped to admire them, but tonight he had bigger worries. He had to check on the Camerlengo, Patrick McKenna. Those burns could’ve been bad, Robert was lucky enough to have not been burned badly. His skin still felt raw. He couldn’t even imagine the pain Patrick was feeling right at that moment. He slipped on his clothes as quick as possible and went to the door. He was moving so quickly he almost didn’t notice the letter sitting unopened on his end table. The envelope was cream and sealed with the Vatican signet. Robert almost wondered if he should wonder how he was found, but decided against it, knowing full well the capabilities of the swiss guard, especially when it was turned against you. He opened it and read the handwritten note inside.

Mr. Langdon,  
Although it is my profound desire to request your discretion in the matters of the past 24 hours, I cannot possibly presume to ask more of you than you have already given. I therefore humbly retreat hoping only that you let your heart guide you in this matter. The world seems a better place today… maybe the questions are more powerful than the answers.  
My door is always open,  
His Holiness, Saverio Mortati

Langdon read the whole thing twice. At least the College of Cardinals had chosen a noble and munificent leader. He also wondered if they had asked their Camerlengo, but that was a question he could ask the man himself, if Robert allowed himself to hope that Patrick was still alive. He set the letter down carefully and raced out the door towards the stairwell. The stairs were cramped, but the ceiling was far above his head and it was easier to block out the feeling of being crushed when he was actively moving in the space. His body was protesting when he reached the landing, but if he moved any slower his anxiety would shoot through the roof and might spark a panic attack. He hadn’t had one in years, and he wasn’t planning on having them now. He passed through the brightly lit lobby, ignoring the alarmed stares aimed at him and pushed open the ornate doors.  
He tried to hail a taxi, but it was night and there were few options around him. Robert had almost given up hope when a lone taxi pulled up to him. When Robert got in, he tried asking for the nearest hospital in superbly broken italian before the man asked him where he wanted to go in english. Robert heaved a sigh of relief.  
“Can you take me to the nearest hospital?” The man nodded and they were off. The streets were still surprisingly crowded, filled with partiers and prayers alike. His body was thankful for the small rest it was given, even if he stayed tense throughout the car ride. The driver was moving seamlessly through the crowd that seemed to part like the red sea when he drew near. Once the driver pulled up to the hospital, also fairly ornate from the outside, Robert overpaid the driver and flew out of the vehicle. At the entrance there were swiss guard stationed, stone faced as always. He eyed them suspiciously before heading inside the sliding doors. It was always hard to trust someone who had been the enemy just… he checked his watch, Mickey still ticking thankfully. Just hours before. It was only 3 a.m.? He really hadn’t slept much these past two nights.  
Inside, there was hardly anyone outside of more swiss guard, easy to spot in their colorful outfits, and random people with heartbreak, worry, and happiness on their faces. Robert wasn’t a fan of hospitals himself, but he could appreciate the symmetry that happened there on a daily basis. Life and death concentrated in one place. It almost suffocated the atmosphere with its morbid balance. He hoped that he would be on the better side of the coin after tonight. After looking around a bit, he spotted Vittoria and Lieutenant Chartrand talking to each other in hushed voices and made his way toward them. When they spotted him, both their eyebrows shot up, shocked at what was presumably his state. Robert then took a glance down at himself. He had no tie, his shirt askew, only half tucked in, incorrectly buttoned and his pants were wrinkled to hell and back. He didn’t even want to think about what his face looked like. Vittoria went to his side to move him toward them with a concerned look on her face.  
“Are you okay? Is everything alright? Why are you out of bed, you need to be resting-”  
“-I’m fine.” at the look he received from them both, he modified his statement  
“Well, as fine as I can be in the current situation” Vittoria rolled her eyes with a smile at that and Chartrand somehow managed to look more bewildered than before.  
“Honestly, I’ve been worse.” Okay that was a bold-faced lie. They both knew it too. Robert sighed, exasperated.  
“Is Pat-the Camerlengo alright?” He hoped no one noticed the slip-up. Chartrand was the first to speak up after a muted look between him and Vittoria. His stomach sunk.  
“Well… he will recover…” Robert looked expectantly. If that was the good news, there surely can’t be anything that bad.  
“... but he’s sustained some nasty burns down his sides and some light ones on his face-” Vittoria interrupted Chartrand’s slow drag with a  
“-It’s a miracle he only sustained the damage he did. The oil in those lamps burns hotter than most and it’s surprising you hardly got burned, let alone the Camerlengo.” Chartrand gave her a side eye before continuing  
“ but overall he’s in pretty good shape, outside of the smoke in his lungs.” Robert sat down with a giant sigh. He slumped in his chair, head in hands, in an attempt to block out his thoughts. At least Patri-the Camerlengo was alright. He really needed to stop thinking of him in such familiar terms. A little voice in the back of his head told him that they’d already kissed so it’s not like there was any reason for such formality-He stopped those thoughts with a stern reminder that this was Vatican City. He was a priest. They couldn’t be caught or Pat- the Camerlengo would lose his job. It was probably a mistake anyways. The little voice rallied against that but Robert rubbed his palms into his face. A nurse came up to Vittoria and said something light in Italian that made her and Chartrand stand up and follow her. Robert scrambled after them, tucking in the rest of his shirt and swiping a hand through his hair. The hallways were brightly lit, sterile, and cold. Nurses rushed in and out of rooms, but it was overall empty. Strange. There had been plenty of small and large fistfights Robert was sure he’d seen while they were racing through Rome. Maybe they were all still out there.  
They came to a stop by the door and Robert muttered a small  
“Grazie” to the nurse before filing into the room behind the other two.  
The room was small for the three of them to be in there with personal space, but for once that wasn’t the thing Robert was focused on. Patrick’s face was bandaged from under his chin to a little on his right cheek and down his neck. Most of both his arms were covered in white gauze as well. His skin was red too, but his eyes were closed and he looked to be sleeping soundly, probably filled with drugs. Seeing him like that made his heart ache and he refused to let it linger in his mind why. He wasn’t known for getting attached too fast but a little look around the room, the slight smile Vittoria gave him and the comforting shoulder rub he got from Chartrand, maybe this would be an exception. They’d all been through a hell of a lot these past 24 hours. They all turned to look at Patrick and the one chair next to him. He looked back at them, about to offer the only chair in the room to one of them, but they both steered him toward it and leaned against the back wall chatting quietly to each other in italian. He really hoped it was because of his apparent raggedness that they made him sit down and not… the other thing he was not going to mention. Not even in his own head. The knowing look that Vittoria shot at him made him think otherwise.  
At least she seemed okay with his little crush.   
He sat down slowly, his aching joints catching up to him all at once. He allowed himself to glance at Patrick once. Then twice. Maybe a few more times before he gave up on sneaking them and laid his elbows on the tiny space of Patrick’s bed not occupied by his bandaged arm. He looked so frail under these lights. He looked better in the warm lights of the cathedral and firelight. He winced at the thought of fire. There had been enough of that tonight to last him a lifetime. Robert could see that his chest was covered by the thin sheet they dared to call clothing, but he knew it was probably bandaged under there as well. Definitely enough thoughts about fire for the night. Robert laid his head in his hands again and traced Patrick with his eyes, still worried but mostly relieved. He was alive, and that was honestly the only thing that mattered at the moment. He watched his heart go up and down with the monitor, faint voices talking quietly hummed through the room. He didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep until he woke up the next morning. 

A nurse lightly shoved him awake and he moved out of her way startled when he did. A raspy laugh made it’s way to him when Robert scraped the chair back from the bed and the nurse gave him a dirty look. He looked over and, yep. There Patrick was. A Patrick who was very much awake. Robert blinked for a second before huffing out a laugh too. The Camerlengo’s eyes were sparkling in his direction before he was asked a few questions by the nurse. By some miracle, Robert did not, in fact, learn Italian overnight and assumed they were talking about something related to his health, and let his mind wander around the room. Both Chartrand and Vittoria had left and had conveniently forgot to wake him. To be fair though, Robert felt more rested than when he’d woken up earlier. He glanced at his watch, mickey smiling at him and telling him it was 10:23 a.m. A nice 7 or so hours of sleep, no wonder he was well rested. He hardly got that back at Harvard. The nurse left again and it was just him and Patrick. Alone. Oh god, Robert was done for. He scooted the chair back to where it was, careful not to make as much noise as before (and failing quite miserably). He dared another look back up at Patrick who looked like he was trying his hardest not to laugh at Robert’s embarrassment. Once Robert’s chair was back where it had been he sat in silence, trying to think of what to say.  
“Hi?” It came out more as a question, but at this point it was better than nothing. Patrick let out another raspy chuckle  
“Hi?” Was the Camerlengo mocking him? One would think Robert would be better at talking to people now after all these years. Robert let out an embarrassed laugh before giving a small smile to Patrick.  
“You feeling any better?”  
“As good as I can be in the circumstances” His face was tighter than it had been, so Robert decided not to push it. They had all gone through a lot yesterday, Patrick more so than the rest.  
“The doctor said you should be healing up just fine.” Patrick hummed in agreement and they lapsed into silence once more. This one was more comfortable though. Robert decided to test his luck and sat his arms on his bed again, inching his hand closer to Patricks everytime he looked away.  
“You really scared me last night, Patrick” The priest looked down at that, his whole body sagging under some unseen weight, and didn’t answer. Robert brushed their fingertips then. Patrick looked up at their hands with wide eyes, a blush taking over his ears and curling towards his face. He opened his mouth to say something but Robert rushed out his words, scared they’d get stuck in his throat otherwise.  
“Really scared me.” He put his head into the crook of his arm. Admitting his emotions wasn’t the hard part. It was always the response. He felt Patrick’s hand over his own and a small squeeze that let Robert know it was okay to hold his hand. He squeezed gently back, relief and warmth taking the place of his anticipation. So, they weren’t going to ignore whatever it is that had happened.  
“I’m sorry” Patrick’s voice was small and sincere. Robert looked up from his elbow and sat up a little, not letting go of his hand.  
“It’s okay, but please don’t ever try and do that again.”  
“I’ll try to stay away from fires” Robert gave him a pointed look, but gave a wry smile afterwards. He couldn’t stay mad at him, not while knowing that he was alive and well and at his fingertips, literally.  
“You do that” There was silence again but this time it was charged. Robert was looking directly into Patrick’s green eyes. He wanted to say they were like emeralds, but they were more like moss or grass after a storm. Earthly and soft and so utterly Patrick they made his breath catch. He could feel himself leaning closer but he didn’t want to stop himself either. The door opened and he leaned back into the chair, letting go of Patrick’s hand. It was the same nurse with food and medication on a tray. Robert could feel his face burning red and could see Patrick’s face was almost the exact color of a tomato. The nurse didn’t seem to notice and went about her business, setting the tray over Patrick's lap and talking to him in Italian some more before heading back out the door. Robert looked at Patrick’s mortified face and bust out laughing.  
“Oh my god”  
“We could’ve been seen!”  
“But we weren’t!” he was cackling now. Patrick huffed a little laugh with him, but was mostly red faced smiling at Robert’s ridiculous laugh. Robert slowly settled down, letting out a chuckle every now and then if he looked at Patrick’s face for too long. Patrick rolled his eyes with a grin at Robert.  
“That really wasn’t that funny”  
“Totally not. Nope. I’m not laughing” Patrick gave him a wry smile. The air settled after that and Robert not so stealthily took his hand again, gauging the priests reaction. Patrick was watching him with a fond smile that sent his stomach into a flip. He hadn’t reacted like this to another person since undergraduate. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. Robert brought Patrick’s hand to his lips and kissed them softly and trying his best to stare into Patrick’s eyes while doing so. It proved difficult when the man before him turned red yet again, something bright in his eyes. He smiled into his hand before setting it back down on the bed between them.  
“So… “ He started, not knowing how he wanted to finish. Usually he wasn’t at a loss for words or how to move on, but he’d never done this with another man before. He also seriously doubted the priest knew anything about having a relationship with another man as well, and, if his reactions were to be trusted, this might have been the first time he had ever possibly been with, at least on a romantic level.   
“... are we?” he continued and didn’t finish again. But this time it wasn’t his turn to pick. If this… thing they had was going to continue, it wasn’t solely up to Robert. This could be dangerous and, given the circumstances, it probably wasn’t going to last and wouldn’t end in anything but heartbreak. He was willing to try if Patrick was.  
“I think… so?” Patrick responded, holding the question mark at the end. It wasn’t a no. Robert rushed out  
“I don’t want to presume anything”  
“Of course”  
“If we’re-”  
“I could get fired, yes, I know the risks.” Patrick’s voice was even. His eyes didn’t waver from Robert’s. Robert’s heart skipped and the voice in his head cheered. Robert went to say something else, but instead moved to cover Patrick’s mouth with his own. Patrick’s lips were chapped and his breath was disgusting, but Robert couldn’t find it in himself to give a damn. His couldn’t have been much better. It was long and chaste. Robert didn’t want to push him too far, and they were in a hospital where anyone could walk in, but he allowed himself to bring his hand that wasn’t occupied up to brush Patrick’s cheek. It was intoxicating how Patrick fell into his kiss and melted into his touch. When Robert pulled away, he rested his forehead on the priest’s, eyes closed and breathing in Patrick’s presence. His legs started to hurt from the way he was bent over, so he sat down, disappointed. He landed his head against his hand and drank in Patrick’s form. The priest’s eyes were still closed and he had a blissed out look to him. Robert could feel a smile forming on his face without realizing it.   
“How long are you in here for?” Patrick blinked out of his reverie and flushed a little.  
“In 2 or 3 days I should be able to go back, though they’ve told me to rest often and to stay indoors.” Robert raised an eyebrow at that. Patrick raised an eyebrow back with a playful smile on his face.  
“Lungs?” The professor’s eyes widened a little in an oh-shit-I-forgot way.  
“Well I’m staying here with you”  
“And you’re staying in your hotel at night.”  
“I’ve already decided. It’s boring being in a hospital alone.”  
“You need to rest, Robert.” It absolutely did not send a tingle down Robert’s spine for Patrick to call him by his first name.  
“And I want to stay with you, Patrick” He put an emphasis on the priest’s name to mock him but then Patrick started to sit up. Robert went a little frantic.  
“You need to lay down and rest! Don’t over exert yourself!” He had a hand on his upper back and tried to ease him into sitting up straighter. Patrick started laughing at how Robert was reacting, but winced. The priest placed a kiss on Robert’s forehead. Robert blinked.  
“Now you see how I feel. Go get some rest. I’ll be here when you come see me during visiting hours. I promise.” Robert sat back in his chair indignant, but not willing to fight the burned man. He must have looked much worse than he thought if Patrick, of all people, was telling him to go lie down. He stood up, his joints popping loudly as he stretched.  
“I’ll be back” Robert promised. Patrick smiled fondly at him again. That smile seemed to always do weird things to his heart.  
“I know” Robert kissed his forehead and walked back out into the city. He hailed another taxi back to the Hotel Bernini, everything a blur until he got to his room. He admitted to himself he was more tired than he realized, while he took off his clothes and promptly passed out as soon as he hit the soft covers.

The next few days passed in a blur and consisted of him calling his the dean to ask for an impromptu break, visiting Patrick, and dinners with Vittoria and Chartrand. When Patrick was free to leave, the hospital didn’t have any clothing he could wear. His black robes had been charred and unsalvageable. So, Robert ran back to his hotel room and brought back with him the only other clothing he’d brought with him. It was an oversized grey t-shirt with H A R V A R D printed on it in bold letters that had faded over time, red ink spilled a little on the front from that one time his red pen practically exploded in his hand while grading, and some black sweatpants that were blue in some areas and had a couple white out stains on the front. He sincerely hoped Patrick wouldn’t mind that he’d slept in them the past few nights.   
When he made it back to the hospital in record time, Chartrand and Vittoria were waiting in the emergency room. He kissed both of their cheeks as a greeting.  
“He’s refusing to leave the room without proper clothes” Vittoria told him with a smile. Robert smiled at that and walked quickly to his hospital room. He moved through the halls with ease. It was weird how a person could make any place feel like home with just their presence. He got to the room and Patrick wasn’t there. He looked around a bit, but there was no where he could have hidden and he wouldn’t have done that in the first place.  
“Patrick?” he called out tentatively. A muffled   
“I’m here!” sounded from behind a closed door. How had he not noticed it before? The door opened slightly and a tan hand moved itself back and forth.  
“Oh! Um, here you go, Pat ”  
“Grazie!” and the door shut again. Robert leaned against the wall opposite to the bed, where Vittoria and Chartrand had been when they first got here. A small crash sounded from behind the door  
“I’m fine!” Patrick’s voice called out. Robert regarded the door with a raised eyebrow before calling back  
“Yeah, sure” He heard a small chuckle and the door opened.  
“You, shush.” His face was playful. The room was a bathroom and Robert was still appalled that he never noticed the room was there after being in this room with Patrick for hours on end. The bandages on the priest’s face had come off and left behind a little scarring, but they fit his face somehow. Maybe it was because Robert just liked Patrick’s face. The same went for his arms and probably his sides too, but he wasn’t really focusing on that. If Robert’s shirt had been big on himself, it drowned Patrick in it. He could easily see his collar bones and it hung loose around, well, all of him. At least the sweatpants seemed to fit him better, though they did have a drawstring on them. Over all, he looked cute in them. Was Robert allowed to call him cute? The younger man wasn’t too much younger than him, if he recalled correctly. Either way, Robert was sure he stared too long because Patrick coughed a little awkwardly and Robert snapped his eyes up to the priest’s. He flushed at Patrick’s knowing look before the younger man walked towards him. Robert refrained from kissing him on the lips and instead kissed his forehead, his lips lingering a couple seconds too long before they left the slight security of the hospital room. He let go of Patrick’s hand. He hadn’t even realized they were holding them until Patrick started tugging his hand away. Vittoria and Chartrand pulled themselves off the wall of the ER before they started walking away towards the cars waiting to bring their Camerlengo back home to the Vatican.   
The ride was in relative silence before they got there. The only other time he’d felt this heated of a gaze on him was when one of his female colleagues decided hitting on him was a fun free time, but he didn’t meet Patrick’s eyes right out. They needed to work on being more subtle in public if this was going to continue outside of the confines of the hospital room. When they reached the Vatican, a short walk away from Bernini’s hotel, Chartrand stopped him with a small package in hand.   
“A token of thanks from His Holiness” and the blonde smiled at him, urging Robert to take the gift wrapped in brown paper. It was surprisingly heavier than it looked.  
“By his decree, this artifact is on indefinite loan to you from the sacred Papal vault. His Holiness only asks that in your last will and testimony you ensure it finds it’s way home.” Robert opened the gift and gaped at what was inside. It was the brand. The Illuminati Diamond.   
“Thank… you.” He could hardly speak. Chartrand smiled up at Robert before saying  
“Peace be with you” and headed inside. Robert was still standing speechless at the brand in his hands when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned and it was Vittoria with a sad smile on her face. He returned it. They had grown quite close over the last few days.  
“I’ve got to get back to CERN headquarters” she stated.  
“Already?” He asked, incredulous. She had just lost her father and watched 4 other people die, along with the rest of them. Surely she deserved more time to mourn.  
“I’ve already got some calls waiting for me back there to discuss the issues and implications of the Antimatter.” Ah. That made sense. After this past fiasco, there were bound to be tons of people waiting to talk with her. Whether or not it was the press or people asking to buy the damned thing, she would be busy for probably the next millennia. They hugged each other tightly. They all needed time to mourn.  
“I’ll be seeing you” He said when they parted, knowing full well that they probably weren’t. The implication was a nice thought though.  
“Most definitely” She replied. There were tears in her eyes but she had a smile before hailing a taxi. The weight in his hand reminded him of the priceless artifact in his and he stood there a moment, staring at it, before he wrapped it up the best he could. He turned back to look at the church for a moment and saw Patrick walking back out with a bag in his hand. Probably was returning his clothes. Something in Robert’s heart tugged in the wrong direction. Everything about this moment was too final.  
“Professor Langdon! Here’s your clothes back. Thank you for lending them to me on such a short notice.” There was an easygoing smile on his face. Robert smiled as best he could back before he turned back to go to his Hotel. There was nothing wrong if he left a little early. A soft  
“Robert” pulled him back towards the priest. Robert cocked his head to the side a bit in question, not trusting his voice at the moment. Patrick seemed to hesitate with his next words.  
“If you wouldn’t mind… I could accompany you back to your Hotel?” His face looked hopeful and something in Robert was knocked back into place, a small, fond smile forming on his face.  
“I wouldn’t mind that at all”  
They walked back in amicable silence, with a few exchanges here and there before they got back to his hotel. Robert grew braver and asked the priest straight out  
“You could come up to my room, if you’d like to” there was an edge of hope to his voice, but he didn’t actually care if he sounded almost desperate at this point. Patrick smiled with a raised eyebrow.  
“I’d most certainly like to” and they stared at each other a little too long before walking into the hotel. They took the stairs up and Robert was thankful Patrick didn’t ask why, merely acquiesced with a confused look. He didn’t exactly feel like explaining his claustrophobia to anyone. It killed the mood to think about the well. He stopped his thoughts right there. They raced up the stairs as fast as his older legs would allow and crashed into his room. When the door closed behind them, they looked at each other and busted out laughing. They had seriously just acted like teenagers trying not to get caught sneaking out. They were grown men. Robert was the first to settle down but Patrick was still clutching his chest with a few last giggles dying down.  
“I haven’t laughed like that since I was a kid” Patrick said. He grinned wildly at Robert who smiled back. He pushed off the wall and walked to the end table to set down the brand gently on it. Patrick came up behind him and regarded the brand carefully.   
“Does it hurt to look at?” Robert turned to ask him. Patrick was silent for a bit before shrugging.  
“Only a little bit. It’s strange” His green eyes were still trained on it. Robert couldn’t even imagine what that had felt like. He turned around fully and traced the burn mark on his face until Patrick was looking at him.  
“You’re beautiful” he murmured. It was true. Patrick blinked at that, like he wasn’t expecting it, before smiling shyly down at Robert’s hand.  
“It’s true.” Patrick huffed out a little laugh at that before looking back up at Robert.  
“Says the man with, what was it?” Robert groaned at that. They had been watching the news in the hospital and one of the reporters had found some of the footage of him racing around Vatican City and were asking who the ‘ruggedly handsome professor’ was and what he was doing involved with the case.  
“Ah, ruggedly handsome” Robert knocked his nose against Patrick’s  
“You’re horrible” he was grinning so much, his cheeks were beginning to hurt. He hadn’t smiled this much in a while. Patrick kissed him first, surprisingly and Robert stood there shocked for half a second before leaning into the kiss. It was strange how drawn he was to Patrick, obviously more so than any man before him. He broke the kiss and left trails on Patrick’s cheeks and nose and jawline, paying extra attention to the scar. Patrick let out a tiny hum before moving Robert’s lips back to his own. Robert slowly moved his hands up underneath Patrick’s shirt, his fingers grazing his stomach, and sides, careful down his right side that carried the worst of the burns. Patrick gasped into his mouth and Robert took advantage of that sliding his tongue into his mouth. He could feel Patrick’s hands unbuttoning the top buttons on his shirt so he started to do the same but from the bottom up. Robert moved his kiss down to Patrick’s neck and nibbled a line of raised marks down to his collarbone. Patrick’s breath hitched. He had to stop for a second, trying to undo that last button before Patrick’s shirt was open. His shirt fell open at the same time and they stopped for a second. Robert stared at the brand intensely before slowly tracing it with his fingers.  
“I’m sorry” he murmured. It wouldn’t have happened if he had been faster, if he had been smarter. It was almost cruel that he got to keep the brand, an almost reminder that he could have prevented this.  
“It’s not your fault” Patrick stood closer, bringing Robert’s eyes back up to him. His eyes made him want to believe it too. Robert kissed him again but there was something different this time, something softer and deeper than it was before. Patrick walked them back to the bed, shoes falling off both of their feet. Robert moved to go on top of Patrick, but the priest moved out from under him, nudging Robert down onto the soft sheets and moved on top of him. Patrick smiled a playful smile once more at Robert’s questioning glance.  
“Do you believe in life after death, Robert Langdon?” The question threw him off guard. He blinked up at Patrick.  
“Well, I’ve always had some trouble picturing anything beyond this world” His words were careful, not wanting to set off a priestly rant about how no one was believing in a higher power these days before trying to sleep with him.  
“Are you certain? No religious experiences? No perfect moment of glorious rapture?” Robert shook his head, still not sure where these questions were leading.  
“No, and I seriously doubt I’m the sort of man who could ever even have a religious experience.” Robert apparently said something right because Patrick looked pleased and even more mischievous in the light of day. He slipped off his shirt and unbuttoned Robert’s pants.  
“You’ve never been with a priest before, have you?”

**Author's Note:**

> If there are any errors in grammar, please let me know. I didn't re-read it nor did I have a beta T_T


End file.
